I work on my will

I am not doing well. My health is very poor and I realise that this year not a single thing has turned out in a positive way.

Orlando has now not been with me for a little over a year and I feel lonely. I often sink into depression and don't know how to go on.

Was that my life now? Was that all I was here for? Did I learn anything meaningful from it?

I think that nothing in my life has been worth it. It was completely pointless and unnecessary to be here. I just want it to be over. Forever.